Sex Before Remarriage (4) The Power of Desire.
Note: This is the fourth post in a series on Sex Before Remarriage. You can read the previous post here: An Important Relationship Skill about the life skill of delaying gratification
For singles exploring their current sexual feelings, exploring sexual tensions without actual intercourse can be an interesting experiment. This isn’t for everyone and is another of those areas where common sexual values are a must.
Most everyone knows that passion is increased when gratification is delayed and/or denied. Not only is delaying gratification an important life skill, it is a sure way to increase desire. Anticipation of something is often more fulfilling than the actual having of it. We may have a love/hate relationship with the tension. We love what it does but hate having to create it. Once we give in to it, it’s gone and must be built up again.
Creating Sexual Tension
Sex therapists often advise couples to purposely create sexual tension and asks them not to relieve the tension via orgasm. The cycle of sexual tension – to relief – back to tension, forces the couple to connect more deeply and not merely seek relief of the tension, which points to the significant differences between having sex and making love.
When approaching sex in this way foreplay can last a really long time – months or even years. What, do you suppose, an orgasm would be like after 30 days of foreplay? There are many ways to make love that do not include intercourse or even specifically touching sexual organs. I would challenge a dating couple to find all the other erogenous zones to provide for a more complete and well-rounded sex life later. It’s guaranteed to increase sexual desire. Marriage therapists have used this technique to spice of the sex life of bored couples for decades. Singles
Next post – The Importance of Knowing.