Let Your Divorce Transform You

As my manner is I have taken the road less traveled. I’m sitting on a plateau above the Colorado River in the bronze of early morning sun. It has warmed since the 29 degrees of this morning. I woke up to a sparkly frost covering my bike, my car, and my cooler. The sun has arisen to illuminate bright yellow willows and cottonwoods filling the river valley along with emerald green hay fields, under wispy patches of fog. I’m heating my green tea and some breakfast on my little one burner stove. Nothing recharges me like spending time in wide open, beautiful spaces.


Because I travel so low key, meaning a bed roll, water jug, cooler, computer for writing, a couple of books and my one-burner stove, I can go just about anywhere without spending much…so I go as much as I can. Lavish isn’t what I’m after. I’ve come to realize that one of my values is simplicity. When I think of staying in a motel/hotel a line in Crocodile Dundee comes to mind. “What’s he like in bed?” “I don’t know, he still sleeps on the floor.” I feel lost in a hotel. It’s too much stuff for my simple needs.

Wild Places

Although we seem to value “taming” our world with lawns and fences and borders there is something freeing about the untouched wild places. Raw, natural beauty. Real life. Wandering wild places brings me to broad expanses, surprises around every turn. Wandering is one of the best tools I’ve found for developing my intuition. I feel into each track of a fork in the road and choose the one which feels best. I’ve been led to an abandoned copper mine at sunset with its peacock blue and green rocks glowing in the late day sun. I was led to a real live castle in the making, numerous caves and tunnels, too many breathtaking views to count. It even had a moat. Without that guidance those would have been lost to me. Letting my intuition guide me as I wander allows me to stay in a continual state of awe.

A Path With a Heart

Don Juan (Carlos Castenada books) says to choose the path with a heart. Even though I read those books 40 some years ago I still do my best to choose the path with heart. This nearly always means taking the road less traveled. If I were to write my own epitaph it would read, “She always took the road less traveled, the path with a heart.”

The book, The Road Less Traveled is about spiritual growth. Spiritual growth is definitely not the route most people would choose for themselves (hence the name) but once you discover it, it is like a valuable treasure that you wonder how you ever did life without it. Wandering, the road less traveled, and spiritual growth and development go together.

The Road Less Traveled

I look at the transformative nature of divorce that way, too. Divorce is common. The less traveled path of divorce is to allow it to transform you. To let grief shake loose the things you no longer need (but dearly believe you do) and bring you to the next iteration of yourself differently equipped for the next phase of your life. Not many people are brave enough to do that. Some of us stumble upon that gift quite by accident because Life won’t let us go. I wasn’t so all-wise through my divorce as to know I was being transformed but I recognized the transformation afterward and realized there were easier ways to capitalize on the experience than the way I did it.

I’ve always said that if you have to be in it you might as well learn from it. I encourage you to take that path less traveled.

Let your divorce transform you.