Most people come to me when the pain of the divorce is too much. Seeking help is a really good idea. You will get better faster with the right kinds of support. Up to two years faster in fact. Customized coaching is a primo service to get through the emotional upheaval and chaos, back to happiness, and truly beyond divorce at the pace and in the way you learn best.
Individualized Coaching For You
Compassion for Your Torn Heart
I have been a coach for a long time. I’m also divorced, myself. I have great compassion for your torn heart and I will hold space for you as you push through to wholeness. I’ve been referred to as “the gentlest tough coach” and the “combination of a butterfly and a lioness.” It’s true. I have been where you are and I understand the importance of gentleness. I also understand how important it is to not give up on yourself. I won’t let you give up on you.
The Two Important Phases of Recovery and Empowerment
We first focus on getting you stabilized. We need to calm your nervous system and help you sleep. If you don’t need that, we can move on to whatever phase you’ll be going through next. Don’t worry. You don’t have to know where you are. I will know.
- Soothing your emotions
- Managing your thoughts
- Learning what went wrong
- Discovering yourself anew
- Finding new purpose and grounding it in reality
Check out the steps below for more information on these steps, but remember, these are completely customized for who you are, where you are, and what you need.
The First Three Steps Recover Your Ending
Divorce is a tough experience. You must first accept that it is happening, rather than resist it, and make decisions from that place. You don’t have to want it, but you do need to accept it. Honor the choices you’ve made so far. You’ve done the very best you know to do. We will use your strengths to bolster your soft spots. Part of honoring yourself is taking care of you. You may not know what you need, but I do.
Your thoughts, especially the things you are telling yourself about how things will turn out or about how you’re not enough in oh so many ways, coupled with emotions like grief, anger, fear, rejection, guilt, and loneliness are overwhelming. These may all be coming at once creating a painful emotional soup.
To pull you up and out of this chaos we work with all of these. This phase of our coaching is the most vital, the most powerful, and after meeting these emotions, also provides the greatest healing. The result is a certain level of peace that is obtained no other way. You will feel much better after this part.
Learning what went wrong will do several things for you. It will calm your nervous system. It gives your mind something to chew on so you’re not just one big feeling all the time. You will feel some control over your future.
Many of the things that go wrong in a marriage stem from childhood, we bring child-like patterns into marriage and they cause problems. In this phase of our coaching we will use several assessments to determine the child-like behaviors that were present in your relationship. You will learn what an adult relationship looks like. You will feel more confident to navigate future relationships.
Marriages also end when one or both partners face a personal growth step that one or both either could not or would not make, or that you or your partner wanted to make alone. We will also look at how what appears to be a midlife crisis impacts marriages.
The Final Two Steps Empower Your Future
Divorce, or any upheaval, is a dismantling process—not just of your relationship and your life, but also of you. The old you goes away. While it is horribly disconcerting to lose so much that is familiar, you are eventually provided the opportunity to discover yourself anew, and to reinvent yourself.
Using a hand-picked selection of exercises, assessments, quizzes that I have gathered through my years as a life coach, and coaxing your inner knowing, we will gain important insights into this next phase of your life. It is high-energy and captivating work. It is very helpful to have a guide. In fact, almost impossible to do without one.
Redesigning your life naturally arises out of redesigning you. Life design is ongoing. It is fun, illuminating and challenging. A new you will not fit into your old life any more than a butterfly will fit back into its cocoon. Your life has to expand, to accommodate who you are today. How beautiful to spread your colorful wings and fly. How far you go with it depends on the courage you have to take on your dreams, and how you manage the fears and blocks that inevitably arise when we create anything worthwhile. Coaching is invaluable.