Living authentically. What exactly does that mean? How do we do it? Where do we sell ourselves short?
There are hundreds of ways we avoid living authentically. Every time we want to say no, but instead say yes we are not living authentically. When we promise (ourselves) to go to the gym but then do not, we’re not living authentically either. Or how about agreeing to go to that Italian restaurant even though we don’t like Italian food. Yes. There are many, many ways we don’t live authentically. How about for you? Where do you compromise yourself? What has it cost you?
Authentic or Counterfeit?
People who handle money are taught to know the difference between genuine and counterfeit, not by spending time with fake bills, but by spending a lot of time with the genuine. It is only by being familiar with what is authentic that we can recognize the counterfeit. This is true about you, too. The first step to living authentically is to know the real you. Know yourself so well that when a false self shows up you recognize it immediately. Divorce changes us. If behooves us to get reacquainted with our core selves again.
A lot of times we don’t show up as we truly are because we don’t want to chase others off or make them mad. When we do that we are like a projected holographic image to them. Because our essence isn’t there, they hold to their own ideas of who and what we are—then we wonder why we feel invisible. That was true of me too. In my 30-year marriage I took care of everybody but myself. I showed up as invisible, so I felt invisible. It later ended my marriage. It took me years to see that I’d done it to myself.
How to live authentically
Living authentically means being in touch with our gut instincts. We have to know our interests and needs. When we want what is best for our partner, and children if we have them, is easy to put them first and ourselves last, but we do so at our peril.
Living authentically means asking for what we need, which means you have to know what you need. Some self-discovery is needed. It also takes courage, especially if you’re used to being invisible. When we stay small a lot of the bad things in life fly right past, but so does a lot of the beauty, connection, and satisfaction that makes life worth living.
I invite you today to put yourself at least near the top of your priority list. If you make promises to yourself, keep them. If you need something from someone, ask them. Life is waiting for you to show up and play big. I imagine you are too. When you’re ready to find your courage and play YOUR bigger game call me. I’ve been there and done that and it is one of my favorite things to help others do that, too.
Your life is waiting for you! You can get on my calendar using this link. I look forward to talking with you.